Spring Break 2010 - Costa Rica

Costa Rica was beautiful. Here are some shots of the scenery.

Joy

Tuesday, April 20, 2010

Looking back, I usually don’t have regrets. However, I ponder about future things that need to be resolved in my mind. I like to think about things and search out the solutions.

I have wanted to strive to be something more then I feel I am at this moment in time. I am in a search for my “self”. My kids are sixteen years old and twelve years old. Sean is busy with work and I am in need of discovering a new path that I have not walked on yet. A mother who is used to always having little ones needing her and relying on her comes to a point when that changes. When you are a mother of little ones you have a constant companionship. I no longer have that constant companionship where my kids are glued to me. My girls are wonderful, but they are discovering their own lives and paths. Mom is no longer always included in every aspect of their lives. The growth process is meant to be that way. One must progress and learn to walk new and, hopefully, just as fulfilling paths. There has been no greater joy then wrapping my world into my kid’s worlds. I love teaching and playing with my kids. Nevertheless, I know that I need to grow and turn my “self” into more.

My goal this year was for me to discover a path for myself. I knew as January 1st hit, I felt compelled to have one of my goals for the year be more focused on helping me gain insight to a new path for myself. In doing so, I have been digging deep into my thoughts, prayers and moments of pondering. I recently decided I would read the book “Man’s Search for Meaning.” I got a Kindle, an electronic reader, for Valentine’s Day and I was searching the web for books. When I saw the title it sparked an interest. So, I decided to embark on a journey to read it. I loved it and then I moved on to the book “Prisoners of Our Thoughts,” which just elaborated on the first. They were good books to help me continue on my individual search for meaning. I have to say I like being in the place where I am. I like the feeling of self-discovery and seeing my “self” grow into a better and stronger individual.

It is time to challenge my “self” and learn to continue to walk in a way that is unique and interesting to me. I know the Lord wants me to be lead and guided to my divine qualities that will help me on my path of more discovery. I am capable of discovering joy in my life. I can and should be happy consistently. Joseph Smith declared that, “Happiness is the object and design of our existence.”

Why then are there times in our lives that we block that path of happiness? Sometimes there is a real physical wall that goes up and limits our reach for that joy we desire to have in our lives. I know that I get set on feeling a particular way and use road blocks that sabotage all that I truly desire. I do desire peace, joy and happiness. I desire to feel the Spirit of God in my life consistently. So why do we sometimes choose not to let that flow out of us? I have come to learn that in those moments we choose to follow the adversary. We let his little promptings into our minds and buy into his doubting and stumbling ways.

I am learning that joy and happiness is attainable in each of our individual lives. At times we allow the belief of a false truth into our thoughts. One that declares, “Happiness is not attainable.” Learning to recognize that the adversary wants us to doubt our ability to achieve joy and happiness is life-altering. We are in charge of our choice and we have the power to choose. Learning to know how to reach joy, happiness and peace in this life is an exciting process and it will probably be a long process. However, to dive into and understand those concepts is a great blessing that is given to us through our Heavenly Father. Happiness is a reachable and a teachable state to find. Our entire existence is to learn about the Plan of Happiness, also known as the Plan of Salvation.

As we discover our “self” it should be a fun path and road to be on. I am never happier than when I see the growth from hard experiences that stretch me. Sometimes during the stretching I lose sight and get frustrated. But if I can remember my meaning to life and see that I am learning, in the long run it is a peaceful and a beautiful process.

After a full year of deep intense self-discovery and reflection, I feel I have broken down some of the small walls or barriers that I sometimes create in my life. I believe I have seen that happiness is mine for the taking and I can realize that I deserve to be happy. There is a place for happiness, light-hearted fun and complete joy in my life. This is the time for learning more about the joy of discovery.

I finished reading those books that I mentioned while I was on vacation with my family in Costa Rica. During our trip we had a three-hour drive to one of the sites we were visiting. While traveling to the site I had a great discussion with my sixteen-year old daughter about the book, “Man’s Search for Meaning.” We had nothing but time to discuss ideas and concepts within this book. She is extremely interested in psychology and it was fun to think deeper about the meanings within the book. Our discussion took off into lots of different directions that were related to gospel principles. It was a fun and a thought provoking experience.

The day after I returned home from our vacation I received an email inviting me to attend a fireside titled, “The Joy of Discovery.” I had never before gotten an email from this society. I barely took notice that it was from the San Diego Chapter of the J. Reuben Clark Law Society. It interested me that I was invited to attend a fireside by Jack Welch, a Professor of Law at BYU. I asked my husband and some friends if they would like to attend with me. It was so random. We had not done something like this before on a weekend night.

When we got there, we all realized it was for members of this society. I don’t know why I was on the list to attend. But I was meant to go and hear what was being talked about. After and probably during the fireside, I knew that being there in attendance at that fireside was simply a tender mercy. I loved the things I learned. The most exciting thing for me was seeing Jack Welch so excited about his life and the meaning he had found in it. He had learned how to find meaning in every aspect of life. The details of the fireside would be another article to write, but I do want to express that I know that our Heavenly Father does direct our paths for good. He cares enough about each of us to help us individually in our search for meaning. I am indeed blessed to be a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints and to realize that I have a loving Heavenly Father.

Kayla's First Time at the Temple for Baptisms

Kayla turned twelve years old and we headed to the San Diego Temple for her first experience in Baptisms for the Dead. It was a planned activity with the Young Men and Young Women. Sean and I were able to make arrangements to attend with her. It was a great feeling to see all of our family in the temple together. She enjoyed the evening and and felt her experience in the temple was special.

It is always something special be with family. In the temple was a great moment together.

I can't believe my baby Kayla is old enough to be in Young Women's. It was a great experience to see her in the temple. My mother Joellen Macdonald had names ready for her to do. She was able to do about 6 family names.

I've decided to share:

Heavenly Father

I think in the gospel we learn line upon line. We learn about things over and over again. It is due to the fact that each time you talk about a principle of the gospel there is more to gain and learn about that principle.

· Each person is ready to hear something specific to them and their needs.

· We have a new book to teach and learn from. It seems to be headed back to the basics. Or a new view would be to learn more about the basics.

Today’s lesson is on Our Heavenly Father

What an overwhelming subject to discuss. I thought and read about a lot about our Heavenly Father. Then I still seemed overwhelmed with what to discuss.

As we begin to think about our Heavenly Father there is something I wanted to mention. We touched on it last week in Sunday school.

· It is important that we see Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ are two distinct individuals, but they are together in purpose.

· John 14:6-21 explains this concept so completely. I wanted us to read through these scriptures together. To give us a clear idea about the Father and the Son.

John: 14:6-21

6 Jesus saith unto him, I am the ^away, the ^btruth, and the life: no man ^ccometh unto the Father, but by me.

7 If ye had ^aknown me, ye should have known my Father also: and from henceforth ye know him, and have seen him.

8 Philip saith unto him, Lord, shew us the Father, and it sufficeth us.

9 Jesus saith unto him, Have I been so long time with you, and yet hast thou not known me, Philip? he that hath seen me hath seen the ^aFather; and how sayest thou then, Shew us the Father?

10 Believest thou not that I am in the ^aFather, and the Father in me? the words that I speak unto you I speak not of myself: but the Father that dwelleth in me, he doeth the works.

11 Believe me that I am ^ain the ^bFather, and the Father in me: or else believe me for the very works’ sake.

12 Verily, verily, I say unto you, He that ^abelieveth on me, the works that I do shall he do also; and greater works than these shall he do; because I ^bgo unto my ^cFather.

13 And whatsoever ye shall ^aask in my ^bname, that will I do, that the Father may be glorified in the Son.

14 If ye shall ask any thing in my name, I will do it.

15 ¶ If ye ^alove me, ^bkeep my ^ccommandments.

16 And I will pray the Father, and he shall give you another ^aComforter, that he may ^babide with you for ever;

17 Even the Spirit of truth; whom the world cannot receive, because it seeth him not, neither knoweth him: but ye know him; for he dwelleth with you, and shall be in you.

18 I will not leave you ^acomfortless: I will ^bcome to you.

19 Yet a little while, and the world seeth me no more; but ye see me: because I live, ye shall live also.

20 At that day ye shall know that I am in my Father, and ye in me, and I in you.

21 He that hath my commandments, and ^akeepeth them, he it is that loveth me: and he that loveth me shall be ^bloved of my Father, and I will love him, and will ^cmanifest myself to him.

I was looking at some painting that depicted Jesus Christ this week. In the two of the paintings, I saw that Christ was praying to his father.

· As I looked at the paintings, I could sense that “one purpose” that Christ and Heavenly Father share. I could see the devotion Jesus Christ has to the Father as he is praying.

· Realizing that oneness and yet separateness was and is important to each of us (or at least to me).

· There have been times when I have felt my Heavenly Father so close to me, yet I realized later it probably wasn’t him. Yet who it was represented God in every way.

· Jesus Christ and the Holy Ghost are given to us to testify to us about our Heavenly Father and his love for us.

· So it is okay to say, I felt my Heavenly Father’s love and I felt him close to me. Because he is close to you, he is near you and he does know you.

· I hope that make sense. That is something that was specifically for me. I had to make that connection between Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ before I could give a lesson on Heavenly Father.

· Everything we know about our Heavenly Father comes to us through our Savior Jesus Christ.

A few months ago Sean and I went to Berlin. Sean purchased two Berlin Bear Buddies. These Bear Buddies are all over in Berlin. The ones you see in Berlin are live size and huge. They have different positions they stand in and are all kinds of colors.

· There is a game that we play in our house with this figurine.

· There are four positions that we play our game with. Each one of us chose a position that is considered ours. As we pass by these bears we move the bear to our position. It is suppose to represent to each other you are loved by each individual player.

· As I pass by the bear and someone has moved it. I can’t help but smile and think how nice it is that a certain individual loves me and moved it to remind me of their love for me.

· It is a silly game that I am grateful for. It is nice as I pass through a room in the middle of the day when my husband or kids are gone and I see one of them took a moment to make a move. I know exactly who is sending me the message that I am loved and I am deeply touched.

· When I made up the game it was just for fun. It was something to do with these cute figurines that Sean brought home. But as the days have turned to months, I am grateful that my family still takes the time to make a move.

· They have not gotten too busy to stop see that I too love them because I have moved the bear into my position. It is nice to know they are taking a moment to look at the buddy bear and feel loved.

I was trying to think of a way to help make a connection with what God has done for us in regards to providing us with this beautiful earth. I thought about this game we play in our family.

All around us are things that represent God’s love to us.

· Are we taking the time to see them?

· Are we making moves so we can see that he loves us too?

(Alma 30:44) Alma, a Book of Mormon prophet, wrote, “All things denote there is a God; yea, even the earth, and all things that are upon the face of it, yea, and its motion, yea, and also all the planets which move in their regular form do witness that there is a Supreme Creator.”

1. We can look up at the sky at night and have an idea of what Alma meant.

· There are millions of stars and planets, all in perfect order. They did not get there by chance. We can see the work of God in the heavens and on the earth.

· There are many beautiful plants, the many kinds of animals, the mountains, the rivers, the clouds that bring us rain and snow—all these testify to us that there is a God.

Robert L. Millet explained in the Importunate Friend that, “Jesus does not refer to God as an impersonal force in the universe or as some cosmic collection of laws; more than any single title, Jesus chooses to address God as “Father.” He is not just a sovereign king, an all-powerful master, a vengeful lord; he is as this parable suggests a father and a friend. He is neither preoccupied nor distracted. People are his most important concern. He takes time for those he knows and loves. He listens. He responds to requests. And his is faithful to forgive. God will not punish his children for seeking to know more, to understand better, to acquire truth.”

Heavenly Father created all that we see around us. We are blessed because Heavenly Father gave us all what we needed to experience in this mortal life. He saw us unorganized and he took us and gave us a way to become like him.

· He organized man in his image.

· Through his Son, God created the heavens and the earth and all the things that are in them.

· He organized the stars, the sun. He organized this world and gave it form, motion and life.

· We learn in the temple the importance of the creation. If we think about it we start to realize that the things God created for us are powerful in helping us become like him.

Bruce R. McConkie “Because God created man in his own image and likeness and placed him on earth as an essential requirement for gaining salvation, because salvation is gained through a knowledge of God and an obedience to the laws of his gospel, and because eternal life itself consists of knowing the Father and the Son, it follows that God must in necessity reveal himself and his laws to man.”

Are we taking the time to see what God has actually done for us?

· If we could learn to see the beauty around us, we would be reminded so often of our Heavenly Father’s love for us.

· His love would fill us up and we would be deeply touched.

· I believe if we allow ourselves quiet moments of reflection concerning our surroundings into our thoughts, we could learn more about God than anywhere else.

· Story about Lady with the Cancer named Michelle:

o Long curly, red hair. It was apart of who she was.

o She started treatment for her cancer and she lost her hair all in one day.

o She felt like she had lost her strength.

o She lost part of herself. She had anxiety and worry about her child. She was trying to cope with a lot of fears.

o She decided try to have positive mediation every day for about 45 minutes.

o She let only the good in.

o Good is from God.

o It helped her gain perspective and comfort in great adversity.

The song Heavenly Father Loves Me, is a beautiful representation of what is all around us.

· I want to have us take a moment and listen to this beautiful song. I’ve written the words down and you can read them.

· Or you can think about all the beautiful places or experiences where you knew God existed because you took a moment to let his love in.

· Since this is a new year and we are all in the process of setting new goals and ideas in our minds. Lets give ourselves a moment and let our Heavenly Father in and help us feel his deep love for each of us.

MY HEAVENLY FATHER LOVES ME
Words and Music by Clara W. McMaster, b. 1904

Whenever I hear the song of a bird
Or look at the blue, blue sky,
Whenever I feel the rain on my face
Or the wind as it rushes by,
Whenever I touch a velvet rose
Or walk by a lilac tree,
I'm glad that I live in this beautiful world
Heavenly Father created for me.

He gave me my eyes that I might see
The color of butterfly wings.
He gave me my ears that I might hear
The magical sound of things.
He gave me my life, my mind, my heart:
I thank him reverently
For all his creations, of which I'm a part.
Yes, I know Heavenly Father loves me.

What a beautiful song with a beautiful message.

One of my favorite things in the world is piano music. It has such power and persuasion.

I hope you felt your Heavenly Father’s love and compassion that he has for you. Feeling those moments are key for survival in today’s world.

If we rush around our lives without letting Heavenly Father in and letting him become real to us, we are missing the JOY part of our lives.

We are missing times we could pass by something beautiful that would make us smile, something that is telling us we are loved!

Psalms: 115:15-16

“Ye are blessed of the Lord which made heaven and earth. The heaven, even the heavens, are the Lord’s: but the earth hath he given to the children of men.”

I went around this month asking my family ….how do you know God exists? It was great because it was over the holidays so I saw a lot of family.

It was interesting to hear people’s answers. Not very many times did I get the answer I might have been looking for. I never got I looked at a flower or the sky I know God loves me. That is what I wanted to hear. I wanted someone to share that message and confirm with me what I know to be a special gift from God.

However, I discovered that everyone feelings and thinks differently about God and how they feel his love. While we have this beauty around us we have many other things that provide that same gift of love.

Last month Erin handed me the manual and I looked at the lesson. It was two short pages….I came home and showed Mack and then asked her the big question, that I started asking of everyone.

· Her answer: One way is all the tender mercies he gives us. That is one way we can know he exists. Then she smiled at me.

· So whatever you thought about and recognized as God’s love is good and wonderful. It is what is important to you and what you love.

· Your thoughts might have been turned to the simple things that really bring peace and love into your heart.

· However, some of you might be struggling to learn how to feel God’s love, you are also not alone in that area.

· Story Guy from The Emotional Life:

o He lost his job. Wife had just had their first baby and was home on maternity leave for six months.

o They decided to travel around and experience time together. They stopped at beautiful sites to have a picnic lunch. Really took in the beauty of the earth.

o Vacation time had to end and went back to New York to start looking for a job.

o Frustrated with being the caregiver of the family. He felt like he had lost is identity.

o Met with a psychologist who practiced Positive Psychology.

§ Had him pick three things in the day that were good and positive.

§ Then go deeper and pick reasons why those were good moments. Ex: Madison was in a good mood, why because he interacting with him.

o Helped him see he the things he was grateful for. The blessings that actually did exist in his life.

o He could start to see patterns.

1. Even when you know you have felt Heavenly Father’s love it one can easily misplace those feelings and forget about them. That is probably the reason we go over and over principles of the gospel.

2. It is so in “hard times” we are reminded of simple truths.

There are all kinds of ways we can come to know our Heavenly Father.

1. First and fore most we need to know he exists and loves us.

2. We need to feast on the scriptures.

3. Come to know Jesus Christ.

4. Obey God’s Commandments and follow the prophets.

5. With faith, pray to God in the name of Jesus Christ.

Story in the Ensign (page 80 January 2010)

“I will be found of you.”

Gerald Lund stated, “The voice of the Lord is still and small and it whispers. If we are to hear and recognize it, we must develop a quality of inner quiet and deliberately suppress the sources of spiritual noise in our lives. Here again is the Lord’s simple counsel: “Be still, and know that I am God.”

My Testimony:

Without getting into too much detail I will share my testimony with you and a moment in time with you.

· Anyone who knows me knows sharing my moments are way out of my comfort zone. But here it goes.

I know that I have been blessed to feel the wind on my face and know that God exists. It was the day after my younger sister died.

I had fallen asleep crying and I woke up crying. I think I must have cried all night. My heart was broken, I could feel it in my chest. I came up stairs thinking about a video of her singing a song at Kayla’s baby blessing. It was the song face to face. It was interesting as I walked to where my mother was she had found the video and was playing it. It was beautiful to see Amy singing and as we listened to the words my mother and I just looked at each other. I don’t know if you have ever heard the words of that song, but it was testifying to us that Amy was home. I can see that now as I think back to that moment in time. We played that video at her funeral. Amy sang the last song at her funeral.

Later that morning after I had tried to get ready for the day. I realized it was going to be a big day. Planning a funeral was not something I had ever been a part of. The morning was filled with people walking around trying to figure out what was next.

I needed a moment. I walked outside in the middle of July in Mesa, Arizona. It was going to be about 112 degrees that day. I got in my father’s car and decided to go for a drive. As I drove off I burst into tears again. I was talking out loud saying “you have to help me through this.” I wanted to get to the cemetery where my Grandparents were buried. It was near the spot they were going to bury Amy. I had only been to the cemetery when someone else was driving and I didn’t know exactly where it was.

In my talking out loud I yelled, “Just help me get there, please.” The cemetery is lined with tall thin pine trees. They can be seen in the skyline from the main rode I was traveling on. I remember seeing them and being so grateful for them. I knew I could find where I wanted to go. I arrived full of gratitude for those trees.

I got out of the car and sat under a tree that had been purchased when my Uncle Eddie had died. His kids wanted the tree to shade their father’s grave. It had been six years since Eddie had passed away and the tree had grown and it did provide some shade.

I sat down under the tree facing my grandparent’s grave and I felt the cool breeze on my face. It was 112 degrees and I felt a cool breeze blowing on my swollen cheeks and my tear stained face. It was the most beautiful moment in time for me.

I had arrived at a place I need to be. I had arrived through the gift of the Holy Ghost. I was lead and guided in that moment of time. I knew with the wind on my face that my Heavenly Father loved me. He got me through the day with what I needed.

Name of Jesus Christ Amen.

12 Years Old Equals Surprise Limo Ride

It is so fun to be twelve, were Kayla's thoughts. She loved her party and loved getting all dressed up in her 50's outfit. All the girls looked great. There probably aren't very many more years where they will want to dress up. So it turned out really cute. The girls really got into it!

Kayla's Birthday Party Bash...

Kayla's was so surprised! Sean completely surprised her with a limo at the last minute. The limo driver said the reaction we got about the limo from the girls was the best he has ever had. The driver even pulled out his camera, so he could remember the really heart felt reaction of all the girls.

One by one the girls ran out of the house screaming and jumping like they had just hit the jack pot! It was so worth it to see the kids squeal and be so happy. Plus it was the easiest party ever. We drove down to San Diego and the kids just danced and had the best time.

It was a sixteen seat Hummer limo and there was SO much room to mess around in there. The girls put on a fashion show and walked the isle, they danced and sang, while Sean and I could lay back and relax! It was awesome.

We had the limo for four hours. It took us to a Pizza Parlor to eat dinner and then it took us to grab some yummy dessert at Corvette Diner. We tried to eat dinner there, but it was a two in a half hour wait for dinner. It worked out great though and we enjoyed the pizza.

New Family Photos

Coolest Costume Ever - Halloween 2009

Kayla Parry as Mary Poppins

We were luckily enough to see the Broadway play of Mary Poppins for Mackynzie's 16th birthday. From that point on, Kayla decided she wanted to be Mary Poppin's for Halloween. She had purchased the Mary Poppin's umbrella at the show and she figured all we had to do was plan out the rest of the costume, no biggie right? I called Jan Strickland in my ward and asked if she was up to the task of sewing a costume. She agreed and I was off to pick out all of the needed supplies.

I had not sown anything for years, so I was a bit nervous about grabbing everything I would need. In the store I met a wonderful lady that assisted me with all the needed details of the costume. Jan did a beautiful job on the costume and I have to say, I did a great job picking out the material and colors. Kayla looked darling.